When and How to be Friends With an Ex

Hi Genia,

Need some help here. So I broke up with my girl this weekend. We were steady for 3 years and had decided we would get married this dec or at least get engaged. I started feeling this was too early but just kept it in the back of my mind. I dont know, but for some reason I also started feeling she was not the ONE. So when she brought this up again I told her I have my doubts and told her how I feel. She was miserable and very hurt beacuse I was not being upfront abt it. I couldn't see her like that. She would cry everyday and then I thought it would be best that I break up instead of seeing her hurt so much. I still love her but she couldnt give me any time. It was NOW or NEVER. So I broke up with her. She loves me so much that she would do anything in this world for me, but I don't know I don't feel the same. I guess I am a jerk. I still want to talk to her and be friends with her. When do you guys think is the right time to start communicating with her. She had told me never to call her. So what should I do? Where do I start? Should I start by sending her flowers this week with a "I am sorry" Note. Please give me any advice.

ANON

Dear You,

Okay, do not and I repeat DO NOT send her flowers. She will take it as a mixed message. You'll confuse her even more. Write her a letter. Tell her the truth, which should be exactly what you wrote in your question to me, but in a more sensitive way. Explain to her that you love her, but that your feelings do not match hers. You are not "in love" with her. Women appreciate honesty. Sure it might be hard for her, but I assure you, she will benefit more by truth, rather than to be dealt with through mixed messages and confusion.

Sucks to be you right now,
MG